Facepalming with Jean-Luc Picard...

I freaked myself out, after watching the bleak and thoughtful apocalyptic "Knowing" (by Alex Proyas, director of "I, Robot") the other day--I think it was April 1st too, so that didn't help (I'll post a review of it eventually)--then I experienced a spate of interesting anomalies, including a self-inflicted one, like locking myself out of my office. I think karma was kicking in as I engaged in some very weird conversations with friends and family. Then my friends started to look at me strangely (well, they do that anyway, but they were doing it more). Several of them were doing the "FACEPALM" thing after I'd say something...

What? You don't know about facepalming? You obviously haven't been reading the Urban Dictionary or met Jean-Luc Picard... He is the consumate facepalmer.

Well, let me edify you on this very serious subject. According to Moondog in the Urban Dictionary,

To facepalm is: "the act of dropping one's face/forehead into one's hand. Usually accompanied by a thunk or a cry of "d'oh!"

Seungsation defines facepalm as "the only logical answer to a stupid question or statement." And gives this example:

Guy 1: " Dude, how to I get my Siege Tank into Siege-Mode?"

Guy 2: *facepalm*

The Wiktionary give this definition for facepalm:

to facepalm (third-person singular simple present facepalms, present participle facepalming, simple past and past participle facepalmed):

1) to bring the palm of one’s hand to one’s face as an expression of mixed humor and disbelief or disgust or shame, for example, when one is caught off-guard with a particularly bad pun.
2) To bring one’s face down to one’s cupped hand or hands.

If that doesn't give you a good idea of context check out these keywords that The Urban Dictionary uses for facepalm: headesk, idiot, stupid, plam, retard, lol, lmao, epic fail. Well, that pretty much sums it up for me.

Oh, one last thing. I think facepalming is a sign of intelligence. After all, Jean-Luc does it all the time. And cats are apparently good at it too.

Nina Munteanu is an ecologist and internationally published author of novels, short stories and essays. She coaches writers and teaches writing at George Brown College and the University of Toronto. For more about Nina’s coaching & workshops visit www.ninamunteanu.me. Visit www.ninamunteanu.ca for more about her writing.

Alien Next Door Readers--Friday Feature

Hi, I’m back from holidays and today’s Friday Feature is YOU, my readers! Thanks for keeping Ishmael (Sammy) company and commenting on his story. Here’s what you said about his story, “Sammy the Wonder Cat”:

Jean-Luc: “Sammy is a true action cat. Sammy, you look like you could do well. Be sure to tell Nina you want your own blog.”

Twinky and Blinky: “This was the dumbest thing we’ve ever read! We laughed so hard Blinky over there peed himself and got thrown out of the house! We want more! More! MORE!”

Titania Starlight: “What a wonderful story!”

Limehead: "Why did they let Krapper go? Wasn't he bad? But they made friends with him...and then, no one ate Boba Fett...I don't get it..."

Bowser 1, 2, and 3: “We found the way dogs were portrayed ratter ofensuf. We ain't that dum and don’t all look alike eiter! We, aurselves are a hound of grate distinction.”

Karen: “Wonder Cat to the rescue!”

Mara Jade: "Sammy is so adorable! And he has great literary taste."

Kai: “Yay! Sammy the Wonder Cat!”

Vinnie: “ I felt sorry for Krapper—er—Norman. He seemed a nice fellow.”

Anonymous: “How can you put this **** on the internet? There should be a ****** law against this ***** kind of **** !!!...Oh, and I DO SO taste good…”

Ray Badbury: “This was a brilliant piece of metaphoric writing. Sammy’s clever use of vernacular in a staccato series of ribald bathroom cliché veils a stirring story of a hero’s journey.”

Speedcat Hollydale: “This is one of the strangest posts I have ever seen.”

Well, there you have it. Thanks for reading and commenting. I’m not sure if Sammy will post again. But perhaps he can be pursuaded to come back sometime if we ask him real nice...

(author's note: I must apologize if we've offended any of you with this story or posted responses: dog-lovers, country western folks, Mark Chessnut, beloved Ray. I myself, adore these...well, I have to admit that Country Western isn't my favorite music. But blogging is all about freedom of expression and while Sammy's and Kevin's opinions differ from mine, I believe in sharing them.)